Sometimes, the people closest to us—the ones who seem to be our greatest cheerleaders—use words that sound supportive but actually carry a hidden agenda.
Often masked as “concern” or “guidance,” these phrases can subtly influence, control, or even undermine.
We’re left questioning ourselves: Was it really about helping us, or were there ulterior motives?
In this post, we’re diving into those seemingly “supportive” statements that, at first, might appear to come from a place of love or wisdom.
Yet, under the surface, they can erode confidence, warp perceptions, and create unhealthy dependencies.
We’ll explore ten common phrases you’ve probably heard, or maybe even said yourself, and reveal how they can sometimes be far more manipulative than they first appear.
Is that person really supporting you—or are they subtly steering the conversation to get what they want?
Let’s unmask these hidden forms of manipulation together and learn to spot when “support” is anything but genuine.
1. “I’M ONLY SAYING THIS BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU.”
At first glance, this phrase might seem comforting.
It sounds like the speaker is concerned about your well-being, but in the context of gaslighting, it’s often a shield for criticism or manipulation.
A gaslighter will use this phrase to mask their control over you, leading you to believe that their harsh comments or judgmental statements are in your best interest.
In reality, it’s a way to make you second-guess your decisions and adopt their perspective.
Real care uplifts and empowers. It doesn’t leave you feeling belittled or doubting your own choices.
If someone frequently uses this phrase to preface criticism, it’s worth reflecting on whether their intentions are genuinely supportive.
2. “YOU’RE REMEMBERING IT WRONG.”
This phrase is a common gaslighting tactic aimed at making you doubt your own memory.
If someone frequently tells you that your recollections are inaccurate, they might be trying to manipulate your perception of past events to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
It’s especially harmful because it plants seeds of self-doubt.
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